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Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

Todd Sabo

A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
  ... More Blonde Jokes?

Four major executives from various countries were playing golf together. On the second tee they heard a phone ring. The Canadian executive reaches into his golf bag and pulls out a cellular phone. "O.K. buy 100 shares", the Canadian tells the other person on the phone. I'm such an important person, that I have to make sure my employees can reach me anytime, Therefore I carry a cell phone with me everywhere I go the Canadian Executive says.

On the next tee, they hear another phone ring. All of a sudden the American puts his finger to his mouth and his thumb in his ear, and begins talking. When he gets off the line he tells the others, I'm so important that I had my company install a microphone in my index finger and a speaker in my thumb. That way, I don't have to worry about carrying a cellular phone.

On the green, they hear another phone ring. The German guy stand up tall and says "O.K. sell the company now. Danka. He losens up and tells the others "i"m so important that I had my company put a microphone in my lip and a speaker in my ear. That way all I need to do is stand up straight to get the signal.

At the next tee they hear another phone ring. All of a sudden, the Japanese executive runs into the bushes. After a few minutes, the others get worried about him so they go into the bushes. They find the Japanese guy in the bushes with his pants around his ankles and squatting as if to take a dump.

"Oh we are very sorry the American says, we will leave you alone,"

That's O.K. the Japanese executive says, "I'm just waiting for a FAX."
  ... More Golf Jokes?

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

"Moishe Plotnik?" he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front is Jewish gentleman from Poland.

Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'

He say, 'Moishe Plotnik.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'"
  ... More Jewish Jokes?

What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?

You Gotta Love the Irish!!

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "L*rd take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

submitted by: Elmer Nance
  ... More Classic Jokes?

Kings in a deck of cards

King of Spades: King David

King of Hearts: Charlemagne always with Ermine Coat

King of Diamonds: Julius Caesar always in profile, with hand extended

King of Clubs: Alexander the Great always holds orb

Submitted by: JRZ
  ... More Useful Information?