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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
Judi, a blonde, enters an elevator, turns to a gentleman there, smiles and says, "T-G-I-F" to which he replies "S-H-I-T."

Baffled, the Judi repeats "T-G-I-F."

The gentleman smiles and responds: "S-H-I-T."

The woman quizzically looks at the gentleman and says again "T-G-I-F."

The man again replies "S-H-I-T."

The woman explains to him what it mean. "Sir, T-G-I-F stands for Thank
G-d Its Friday."

Ray replies, "Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack!

'Help me dear,' she groans to her husband.

The husband dials 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up
his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. 'I'm dying over
here and you're putting?'

'Don't worry dear,' says the husband calmly. 'they found a doctor on the
second hole and he's coming to help you.'

'Well how long will it take for him to get here,' she asks feebly?

'No time at all', says her husband, practicing his putting stroke. Everybody's already agreed to let him play through!'


submitted by: Renee Andert
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
An elderly Jewish lady is leaving the garment district to go home from work.

Suddenly a man who has been walking towards her, stands in front of her, blocks her path, opens up his raincoat and flashes her.

Unruffled she takes a look and remarks, "This you call a lining?


  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Do not turn on A/C immediately as soon as you enter the car

The given article is based on true facts!

Please do not turn on A/C immediately as soon as you enter the car. Open the windows after you enter your car and turn ON the air-conditioning after a couple of minutes.

According to a research done, the car dashboard, sofa, air freshener emits Benzene, a Cancer causing toxin (carcinogen - take note of the heated plastic Smell in your car).

In addition to causing cancer, it poisons your bones, causes anemia, and reduces white blood cells.

Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia,increasing the risk of cancer. May also cause miscarriage.
Acceptable Benzene level indoors is 50 mg per sq. ft.. A car parked indoors with the windows closed will contain 400-800 mg of Benzene. If parked outdoors under the sun at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benzene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level... & the people inside the car will inevitably inhale an excess amount of the toxins.

It is recommended that you open the windows and door to give time for the interior to air out before you enter.

Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver, and is very difficult for your body to expel this toxic stuff.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/benzene.asp

Submitted by: Bob Gasway
  ... More Useful Information?