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JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!
Texting for Seniors as follows:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring your own teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TOT - Texting on Toilet
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WTP - Where are the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Todd Sabo
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BLONDE JOKE
A blonde lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When asked what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the "ATM thingy".
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GOLF JOKE
A golfer asked his friend, "Why are you so late?"
The friend replied, "It's Sunday. I had to toss a coin between going to church or playing golf and it took 25 tosses to get it right!"
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JEWISH JOKE
President Clinton was very curious about how the Jewish people knew everything before him. So he called the CIA and FBI and asked them to
figure it out.
One week later they came back and said, "Mr. President, the Jews have something called shabbat, and they meet each other at the synagogue, and there is a code. They sit, they pray, and there is a word that is the key to this secret: 'Nu?' When one says to other, 'Nu?' the other tells him everything, every bit of news."
This Clinton wanted to see for himself. The secret service dressed him like a Hassid, and taught him to read from the right to the left of
the siddur. Clinton arrived at a synagogue on shabbat, and sat beside another religious man. He waited for an moment, and said, "Nu?"
The man answered, "Shh, Clinton is coming!"
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LAWYER JOKE
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
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CLASSIC JOKE
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! -- and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"
submited by Elmer Nance
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USEFUL INFORMATION
This might be a lifesaver if we can remember the three questions!
IS IT A STROKE?
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, this lack of awareness can spell disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
Ask the individual to smile.
Ask him or her to raise both arms.
Ask the person to speak a simple sentence.
If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.
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