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JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!
Texting for Seniors as follows:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring your own teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TOT - Texting on Toilet
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WTP - Where are the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Todd Sabo
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GOLF JOKE
15 Reasons Why Golf is Better Than Sex
1. It's easier to score in golf.
2. Golf-transmitted diseases are rare.
3. Everyone swings in golf.
4. When you play golf, you don't have to lubricate the hole.
5. Being called a pro is a compliment in golf.
6. Golf isn't over in a few minutes.
7. It's OK to pay for golf.
8. You can play golf for hours without getting exhausted.
9. Foursomes are more common in golf.
10. If you have trouble with one hole, you can go to another.
11. You get more rest between strokes in golf.
12. If you're not ready for golf on the first date, you can suggest miniature golf.
13. In golf, women have balls and men don't mind.
14. Premarital golf is encouraged.
15. The size of your shaft isn't important to other golfers.
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JEWISH JOKE
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
The boy says "I play the part of the Jewish husband!"
The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part!!"
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LAWYER JOKE
What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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CLASSIC JOKE
One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did mommy go?"
In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, daddy?"
The man had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime...
Then he burst out into laughter, and said, "Come on, Dad! What is it really?"
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USEFUL INFORMATION
A Friend Is Someone
Who Reaches For Your
Hand But Touches Your Heart
"The Only Way To Have A Friend Is To Be One."
submitted by: Elmer Nance
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