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JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!
Texting for Seniors as follows:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
BYOT - Bring your own teeth
CBM - Covered by Medicare
CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
DWI - Driving While Incontinent
FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
FYI - Found Your Insulin
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL - Living on Lipitor
OMMR - On My Massage Recliner
ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!
TOT - Texting on Toilet
TTYL - Talk to You Louder
WTP - Where are the Prunes
WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil
Hope these help!
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
Todd Sabo
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BLONDE JOKE
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
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GOLF JOKE
Avid golfer
Joe was teeing off the first hole, from the back tees. On his downswing, he suddenly realized that his wife, Mary was about to tee off from the red tees, directly in his path.
Unable to stop his down swing, he nailed the ball, hitting Mary in the right temple, killing her instantly.
A few days later, Joe received a call from the coroner, concerning her autopsy.
“Joe, your wife seems to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and struck her in the temple; Is that correct?”
“Yes Sir,” Joe replied, “that’s correct.”
"Well Joe, I also found a large bruise on Mary’s right hip. Do you know anything about that?"
"Yes Sir," Joe said, "That would have been my mulligan."
Submitted by: Renee Andert
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JEWISH JOKE
THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH:
1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin,
4. His mother was sure he was God.
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CLASSIC JOKE
PEOPLE FROM THE SOUTH WILL UNDERSTAND THIS....
There was this fellow from Mississippi, driving down I-55 South who had a flat tire. He pulled off on the side of the road, jumped out of his car, walked down the hillside and picked a bunch of wildflowers, and proceeded to put one bouquet of the flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait....
A out of state traveler headed for New Orleans, studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tarr."
In response the passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down, they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."
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USEFUL INFORMATION
Today's Message of the Day is:
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.
Submitted by: Rene Andert
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How many lawyer jokes are there?
