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 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
One day a blonde was driving down the road in the middle of the desert and looked out the window and saw another blonde in a rowboat rowing in a dryed up pool. The driver rolled down the window and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us blondes a bad name. If I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and slap you silly."
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the eighteenth green the golfer had a ten foot putt to win the round, and the $200.

As he was lining up his putt, a funeral procession started to pass by.

The golfer set down his putter, took his hat off, placed it over his chest, and began to wait for the funeral procession to pass. After it passed, he picked up his putter and returned to lining up his putt.

One of his buddies said, "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. I can't believe you stopped playing, possibly losing your concentration, to pay your respects."

"Well, we were married for 25 years."
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation."

Then they saw a catholic Priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be quite ill."
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
Another lawyer.
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
A 92-year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

A couple of days later, when the old man had an appointment with the doctor again, the Doc said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

The man replied, "Just doing what you said doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

Submitted by My Aunt Ruth
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
Gift Cards


Well the crooks have found a way to rob you of your gift card balance.

If you buy Gift Cards from a display rack that has various store cards you may become a victim of theft. Crooks are now jotting down the card numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how much of a balance they have on the card. Once they find the card is "activated", they go online and start shopping.

You may want to purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.
  ... More Useful Information?