Home | Blonde Jokes | Golf Jokes | Jewish Jokes | Lawyer Jokes | Classic Jokes | Useful Information
 Jere 

jeresjokes@yahoo.com

 Jere's Holiday
Gift Picks 
Click Here
Great Gifts for Everyone!

 CHEAPEST GAS PRICES! 
Enter your Zip Code


 Free Online Games 

 Entertainment, Travel & Science News 

 How Old Are You? 

 Get Your Weather 
Enter your Zip Code

 Movie Listings 
Enter your Zip Code


 Get Your Stocks 
Enter Symbol:


 Get Your Horoscope 
Whats Your Sign?


 JOKE OF THE DAY
Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).
Not to be outdone by these little SNK (snotty nosed kids), now, finally we long-suffering seniors have our own texting codes!

Texting for Seniors as follows:

ATD - At the Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring your own teeth

CBM - Covered by Medicare

CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWBB - Friend with Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living on Lipitor

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFL..CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

TOT - Texting on Toilet

TTYL - Talk to You Louder

WTP - Where are the Prunes

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help!

GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In






Todd Sabo


 BLONDE JOKE
Q: What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
A: The 1984 Hide and Seek World Champion.
  ... More Blonde Jokes?


 GOLF JOKE
A lawyer drags in from a day on the golf course looking wasted.
His wife asks, "What's the matter?"
"My partner, Henry, dropped dead on the fifth green," the lawyer
replied. "That's terrible," said his wife.
"You'd better believe it," the lawyer said. "After that it was nothing
but hit the ball and drag Henry. Hit the ball and drag Henry...."
  ... More Golf Jokes?


 JEWISH JOKE
Subject: Oy ~Vay

Mrs. Yetta Rosenberg gets off the plane in Miami and, being tired from the flight, goes to the first hotel she sees in order to get a room. She walks up to the desk and tells the clerk, 'I'm Mrs. Yetta Rosenboig, and I desire a room for de night.'

The clerk looks disdainfully at her and coldly says, 'I'm sorry, madam, but our hotel is completely booked.'

Just then, a man with his suitcase in hand, drops his key and a check at the desk, and heads for the door.

'Oy, vot luck, says Mrs. Rosenberg. 'I can take his room.'

'I'm sorry, madam,' says the clerk, 'but I thought you understood my meaning. To be blunt, we do not cater to Jews.'

'Jews?' exclaims Mrs. Rosenberg. 'So, who's a Jew? I'm a Cat'lic.'

In obvious disbelief, the clerk asks her, 'If you're a Catholic, then answer this question: Who is the Son of G-d?'

'Dot's easy,' says Mrs. Rosenberg, 'Jesus Christ.'

The clerk, still not convinced, then asks, 'Who was Jesus' mother and father?'

'Mary and Joseph,' replies Mrs. Rosenberg , testily.

Then the clerk asks, 'And where was Jesus born?'

'In a manger in a barn,' answers Mrs. Rosenberg, becoming agitated.

'And why was Jesus born in a manger in a barn?' asks the clerk.

''Cause a shmock like you vouldn't rent a room to Jews!!!'

Submitted by: Dave Gasway
  ... More Jewish Jokes?


 LAWYER JOKE
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . .
  ... More Lawyer Jokes?


 CLASSIC JOKE
An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says, " I just had a silent fart...what do you think I should do?"

He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."



submitted by: Renee Andert
  ... More Classic Jokes?


 USEFUL INFORMATION
I thought everybody should know how to make an At Home DNA Kit for their children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews.

Creating a DNA kit of your children at home is easy and can help police find your child if he or she is ever abducted. All that's needed is a set of nail clippers, cotton swabs, a comb, gauze pads, and a freezer bag.

Rub the tip of the cotton swab inside the child's right and left cheek. Clip your child's fingernails and save the clippings. Comb through the child's hair and save some of the loose hairs in the comb. Next time the child skins his or her knee, use the gauze pad to collect and preserve some of the blood. Take all the samples, and a baby tooth if you have one, and place into a freezer bag. Seal the bag, label it, and place it in the freezer where it can be preserved for years.

Having a DNA kit should not take the place of parents keeping a watchful eye on their children.
  ... More Useful Information?