A blonde tried to sell his old car. But he had a lot of trouble because the car had 200,000 miles on it. One day he mentioned his problem to a brunette working in the same factory.

The brunette said to him, "There's a way to make the car saleable, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "as long as I can sell the car."

"OK," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. If you tell him I sent you, he'll turn the counter in your car back to 50,000miles. Then you shouldn't have any problem selling it."

So the following weekend the blonde made a trip to the shop. About one month after that the brunette asked the blonde: "Well, did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It has only 50,000 miles on it."

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

"Look! they spelled MACYS wrong.

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day.

The brunette said that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and it cleared it up.

The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"

Subject: Blonde Diet

A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.

I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day. Repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. "The next
time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor. She had lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, thats amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor."

"No, from all that skipping!"

A Blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?"
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.
Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?"
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?"
Blonde: "I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

A blonde woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?"

The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos."

The blonde then asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one.

The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, "What is that shiny object?"

She replies "It's a thermos."

He asks, "What does it do?"

She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

He then asks, "What do you have in there?"

"Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

A blonde goes into a store, she goes over to the deodorant display and tells the clerk "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."

"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk.

"No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

She Was Soooooooo Blonde....

- she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

- she thought a quarterback was a refund

- she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order

- she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center

- at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put
"Sagittarius"

John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. "I've got a problem," says Buffy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big Rooster," replies Buffy.

"All right," says John, "I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to her house and she greets him saying, "Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table.

John looks at the jigsaw and then turns to Buffy and says, "For Pete's sake put the Cornflakes back in the Box."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"