Three Blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pops out.

The genie looks at the three Blondes and says, "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."

Well the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF!! She disappears.

The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF!! She too disappears.

The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is.

"Gee," she says, "I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here"

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree.

He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."

"You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker.

"I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe.

At a pharmacy, a blonde woman asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.

The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"It won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

Submitted by Harriet Kohn

New Puppy

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you just put it in park?"

Submitted by: Alicia Risdon

Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia!!!

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring training.

I work with a blonde young lady who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

Dr. Owens, the world famous psychiatrist, was the guest of honor at a chic party hosted by equally world famous Judi.

Judi saddled up next to Dr. Owens, batted her eyes, tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and asked, "Doctor, would you mind telling me, how would you detect a mental deficiency in a someone who appears completely normal?"

Dr. Owens chuckled. "Nothing could be easier, my dear. All you have to do is ask the person a very simple question which anyone could answer with no trouble at all. If the person hesitates, that lets you know something might be wrong 'upstairs,' so to speak."

"Interesting. What sort of question?"

"Well, for example, let me ask you: Columbus made four trips to North America and died during one of them. Which one?"

Judi thought for a second and said, "Ummm, do you have another question to ask? I never was very good at history."

Submitted by: MArgo Sydney

Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino. Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the other.

Trixie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited
and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Patty coming
toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins.

"Hey, Trixie," said Patty, "how'd you do?"

"Not very good," came the reply. "I've been waiting here for hours."

Patty said: "You should have been with me . . . did I ever find a good
machine! It's way in the back. Come! I'll show it to you . . you can't
lose! Ever time you put a dollar in, you win four quarters!"

Submitted by: Bob Gasway

Sandy, a blonde, began a job as an elementary school counselor, and was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if he was all right. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself. Approaching again, Sandy said, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The boy hesitated, then said, "Okay", looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here alone?"

"Because," the little boy said with great exasperation, "I'm the friggin' goalie."

Submitted by: Margo Sydney