Q. What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?

A. Collecting her thoughts

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HelOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

THIS CAME TO ME FROM A FEMALE FRIEND OF MINE.....................................

SEND THIS WARNING TO EVERYONE ON YOUR E-MAIL LIST.
IF A MAN COMES TO YOUR FRONT DOOR AND SAYS HE IS CONDUCTING A SURVEY AND ASKS YOU TO SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR BOOBS. THIS IS A SCAM, HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOUR BOOBS.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Signed,
The Blonde.

"You shouldn't take it in earnest," the owner said. "These are just jokes and not true stories. And, there are also stupid brunettes. I can prove it to you."

She went to her receptionist, also a brunette, and said, "Please drive to my house and find out if I'm home." The receptionist immediately went out to her car and drove off.

The blonde was satisfied. "She's very stupid indeed. There's a phone right there. It would've been easier just to call."

Three blonde convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail".

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games." The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself.

The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said "I brought these."

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What can you do with those?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating...

Three Blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pops out.

The genie looks at the three Blondes and says, "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish."

Well the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF!! She disappears.

The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF!! She too disappears.

The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is.

"Gee," she says, "I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here"

A blonde was complaining to the brunette owner of her beauty parlor that she was sick and tired of all the jokes being told about blondes which imply that all blondes are really stupid.

"You shouldn't take it in earnest," the owner said. "These are just jokes and not true stories. And, there are also stupid brunettes. I can prove it to you."

She went to her receptionist, also a brunette, and said, "Please drive to my house and find out if I'm home." The receptionist immediately went out to her car and drove off.

The blonde was satisfied. "She's very stupid indeed. There's a phone right there. It would've been easier just to call."

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.

The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

A group of blondes in a class at Texas A&M University were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they fell off the ladders, dropped the tape measures and pencils -- the whole thing was just a mess.

An engineering student comes along and sees what they're trying to do. He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gives the measurement to ne of the blondes and walks away.

After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed: "Isn't that just like a dumb engineer?

We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,"How can I get to the
other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts back,You ARE on the other side."